Silent for Sandy Hook

Happy Birthday

Dear Caleb,

Happy birthday sweets. I can't believe that you are three years old. I miss you so much, it makes my heart hurt. I hope you have a wonderful birthday. I wish I was there with you. I love you.

Love,
Grandma

One Month

Dear Kiwi,

We took your 1 month old photo, last weekend.  I can't believe that you are already a month old.  You have changed so much.  I made a blanket just for your monthly photo shoots, mommy wrote on the chalkboard wall and we were set. 

You look so big in these photos, but you are still a little guy.  You were so happy when we were taking the pictures.

I took over a 100 photos of you. You just laid on the blanket, watching us.  I thought I was done taking your picture, so I got down near you and started talking to you.  All of a sudden, you gave me the biggest smile and I snapped the camera.  I was so excited when I looked at the camera and the picture was in focus and I captured your smile.  I started crying, I was so happy.  You make me cry a lot these days because you are so sweet.

This is my favorite photo of you, just looking at me. 

You, finally, lost your belly button - right before I started taking pictures of you.  So today was a day of firsts - your first photo shoot, lost your belly button and your first smile.  What a great day.

Love you,

Grandma

Black Friday

Dear Kiwi,

We took you out for your first Black Friday, the day after Thanksgiving sales - in the afternoon.  You mom and dad went out in the morning and you stayed home with me.  When, they got home - we went to eat some lunch then decided to go check out Bass Pro Shops (you grandpa and great grandpa's favorite place).  You were so good, just slept in our arms.  We played "Pass the Baby".  I bought you the cutest little camo booties.  Papa wanted some new hunting boots, so you slept in my arms for 45 minutes while Daddy helped him find the right boots. 

People would walk by and admire how cute you are.  I just love your smoochy cheeks.  So sweet.

Love,
Grandma

PS.  You love your pink pacifier

Right now - November

Dear Babes,

Right now, I love talking to Kiwi and watching you trying to talk back to me.  You get your lips moving, looking so hard at me.  Trying to say something.

Right now, I love how Kiwi has a pathetic cry.

Right now, I can't wait for the twins to get here.  I think it is going to be so much fun, but if you girls get cranky then Grandma can send you home.

Right now, I love how sweet M is being.  You had quite the temper when you were younger, but now you are so cheerful.

Right now, I love looking at the drawing that K made last Christmas that is hanging on the fridge.  You are a really great artist.

Right now, I love how smart Sunshine is.  You are trying really hard in school - you want to get good grades.

Right now, I am super excited that Sunshine wants to play soccer.  I can't wait to go to all the games.

Right now and always, I love being a grandma - you make it so much fun.  Thank you.

Love,

Grandma

Night out

Dear Kiwi,

Papa and I got to watch you, last night, all by ourselves.  We sent you mommy and daddy to the movies - so we could have time alone.  You were such a good boy.  You spent some time snuggled in Papa's arms while I ate my dinner.

You slept the entire time they were gone, but woke up about 10 minutes before they came home.  I was ready to give you a bottle when they walked in the door - you calmed right down when you saw them.  You followed your daddy's movements with your eyes, turning your head as he walked.

You are such a good baby, but you DON'T like to have your diaper changed.  You need to give me a break and not scream so much, lol.  You love to snuggle and I love to snuggle you.

A couple of days ago I was holding you and talking to you.  All of a sudden you let out a coo, it was the most beautiful cooing sound.  You are way too young to be making noises, it brought tears to my eyes.  Uncle Kyle heard it and we were shocked that it came out of you.  I think you were surprised too, because you tried to do it again - but no sound came out.  You seem so much older than you are.

I can hear you starting to cry upstairs at the moment.  You are starting to wake up now, to start your morning.  You have the cutest cry, at first, then you get really loud - belly loud.  I am so glad that you are living with us right now.  I am so lucky.

Love,
Grandma

 

Sleeping

Dear Kiwi,

I love watching you sleep.  The other day we were getting ready to go to your daddy's work to show you off, so I put you in my bed for a bit.  Your cousins call it the "Princess Bed" because it is really tall and comfy.  You snuggled down in it and slept for a long time.  As soon as Papa leaves to go back to Hawaii, I think you need to sleep in my bed.  I love you so much.  You bring me so much joy.

I love you,
Grandma

Bob's Big Boy

Dear Miss K and Miss M,

You both love eating at Bob's Big Boy - you love having your picture taken with him. This time you wanted Papa to sit with you.  Papa is visiting from Hawaii, so he wanted to take you to your favorite place to eat.  You weren't very hungry, but wanted to go anyway.   You just wanted to eat the dessert.  We had a good time.  

Sorry, we couldn't play golf - next time we will.

Love,

Grandma

Happy Birthday

Dear Sunshine,

We celebrated your birthday last weekend and as usual it was a great birthday party.  You always know a year in advance what kind of party you want.  This year, for your special 10th birthday, you wanted a Hawaiian luau - which made us super happy.  I bought the material for your dress in Hawaii, when I was visiting Papa.  I had to take the dress in three different times because you are so thin.  You looked amazing at your party.  You look so grown up, but you are still a little girl and get excited about everything.

Your mom and dad wanted you to wear a blind fold for the pinata, but you didn't want to wear it - so we got this this adorable pouty face.  You have the cutest pouty face.

You are just as beautiful as your mom.  I can't wait to see your sisters.  We are going to have so much fun.

Happy 10th birthday my first grand daughter.

Love you,

Tutu

Part II

Dear Kiwi,

I came to see you everyday when you were in the hospital.  It was really hard leaving you.  Two days after you were born, you developed jaundice - your daddy had it when he was born.  Your mom and dad were so scared.  I ran to the hospital to be with them, while the nurses put you in the incubator under the UV lights.  You were not a happy boy.  It took them a while to calm you down enough to put you in there.  I don't think your Mom and Dad slept at all that night.  Luckily, my morning your blood counts were better - so they let you come home.  You came home on Saturday, late afternoon.  Everyone was happy to be home.  Your mom and dad really needed to sleep in their own beds.  I got to hold you for a hour, while they were eating dinner and settling in.

Around 1 in the morning, you woke up screaming.  You had a gas bubble, that took awhile to get rid of.   You are eating every 3 hours or so.  You are so cute.  You love being held close, kinda of on your side and gently rocked.  Last night, Daddy slept on the floor next to the bed so he would be able to help your mommy.  They gave you a sponge bath - dad said that you enjoyed it.

Today is Day #5, mom and dad took you to medical appointments.  It took awhile for them to get ready to go.  They dressed you in a brown football sleeper with the brown hat that I knitted you.  I wanted to take a picture, but they were running late.  Hopefully, I will be able to take one when they get home.

I love holding you, kissing the top of your head.  You are wonderful.

Love,

Grandma

Part I

Dear Kiwi,

You are here and you are adorable.  You were born on Wednesday, October 24, 2012 at 6:35 AM - 9lbs. 2oz. and 19 1/2 inches long.  Your head was 13 1/2 inches with your chest measuring 14 1/2 inches.  Oh my gosh, you are a big boy.  You don't look like your typical newborn baby.  I knitted you a couple of beanies and I am not sure how long you are going to be able to wear them.  You are amazing.  I was with your mommy and daddy - the whole time.  Mom had a rough time, so they did a C-section.  Your daddy was so in love with you.  Mom started crying as soon as you were born - Dad started to cry but held it together because they were giving him all sorts of information and he said that he needed to focus.

The nurse stopped in the hallway so I could see you before they took you to the recovery room.  Your dad came flying down the hall and told me to "Hurry".  I was worried that something happened, but your dad was smiling.  I came through the waiting room door and there you were - my beautiful grandson.  I said, "He has Japanese eyes, one eyelid".  (Which is pretty important, it was the same thing your Papa said when your daddy was born).  Then I started crying, I couldn't stop.  The nurse laughed and said, "I didn't expect that reaction."  I looked at you again and said, "Oh my gosh, he is huge."  The nurse said, "Yup, that is what I thought you would say."  You are such a big. boy.

Your Papa flew in from Hawaii, the day after you were born.  When he saw you in the hospital, he felt like he had seen you before.  He said it was very strange.  When we got home, he was sitting on our bed then he looked at his nightstand.  There was a picture of your daddy in frame, it had been there for 23 years.  He looked at the picture and saw you - but it was a picture of your dad.  The two of you look so much alike.

This is a picture of your daddy.



My two beautiful boys - but you have more hair.   I love you my beautiful grandson.

Love,

Grandma

Almost time

Dear Jayme,

In the next few days you will become a dad.  I know in my heart, that you are going to be an amazing dad to Kiwi.  I  loved seeing how excited you get, the plans you have made for him. You have planned out so much for your new little one.  It was so cute yesterday when we went shopping and you were picking out different things for him - the cute little Angel baseball dish set.  I know you are really excited for him to be here and to hold him for the first time.

It is still hard for me to think of my baby - having a little one of his own.  You have done so many things in your life and I am very proud of you.  I wish I had taken more pictures when you boys were little - but know I can make up by taking tons of pictures of my grand babies.  Thank you for sharing this moment with me.  I wish Dad could be here at his birth - but he will be flying in a few days later.

Kiwi will love you the first time you hold him. Remember, you will make daddy mistakes - but if you have his best interest in mind, it will work out.  Being a parent isn't easy.  Just hug him, tell him everyday that you love him and give him lots of kisses because dads can give hugs and kisses too.

I love you,

Mom

Come out and play

Dear Kiwi,

Yesterday, was your due date - which means that you were suppose to be born.  But, you didn't come.  I have parent/teacher conferences starting on Friday - so I would really appreciate if you came in the next three days or wait until this weekend.  I want to be there for your birth (and I will), but it would be easier if I didn't have to call a bunch of parents to reschedule their appointments.  Sometimes, they don't understand.  You are already very important to me - so please hurry and come out and play with me.  Your mommy's belly is getting really big so I think you need to leave her and meet the world around you.  It can be a really nice place to be.

I will protect you (just like Mommy has the last 9 months) and make sure that you are safe.  I will buy you cute clothes and make you lots of knitted stuff to keep you warm.  Papa and Daddy will teach you to play golf.  Papa is getting pretty good at it.  He plays almost every day in Hawaii.  He will be here next week to meet you - he is taking care of his mom.  Your cousins call him Papa Surfer Joe.  He is a really nice guy and a total push over for his grand kids.  He likes to build cars - so tell him what you would like.  You can pick anyone of the cars in the back.  I think you Dad wants you to have the El Camino.

So, will you please come out and play???

Love,

Grandma

Twins

Dear A and B,

I am calling you A and B, because that is what the Doctor and Nurses call - my little miracle babes.  I am so excited to meet you.  The Doctor says that mommy is doing great.  The last doctor visit - your heartbeats were strong.  Your mommy and daddy were so happy.  Mommy goes to the doctor again, on Halloween - hopefully one of you will cooperate so we can find out if you are boys or girls.  I am pretty sure I know what you both are.  I knew you were twins even before mommy had you both in her tummy.  That way I can get busy making you goodies.  We need to get your room ready and I want to knit you some beanies and sweaters.  But, it will take twice as long.  Mommy sent me this picture of this shirt.  I had to order it for her.  It should be here any day.  I will take a picture of her wearing it, so you can see how cute mommy looks wearing it.

I love you both so much, already.  I can't wait to meet you, but for now stay warm and cozy inside mommy.  She loves you a bunch, too.

Love,

Grandma

Mr K

Dear Kiwi,

I heard your heartbeat the other day.  I got to go to the doctor and I heard it.  You were not moving very much, then you started doing back flips inside your mommy - or that is what I imagined you were doing.  Then they did an ultrasound.  They showed me your bum, then I saw your hand and you were waving.  I started crying with joy.  There was my beautiful grandson's hand waving at grandma.  It was the sweetest thing.  The tech showed me your face, but you started moving so she couldn't get a clear picture of it.  But it was you.

Your hand during the wave.  You are getting so cramped in there.  Tomorrow, is your due date - I need you to come out so I can spoil you rotten, just like we did your daddy.



I have made you two little beanies.  This one is brown so you can wear it with your football onesie and a gray one to wear with your elephant onesie.  I wonder which one you will like the best.

Love you,

Grandma

Me

Dear Self,

You need  to rest, to take care of you.  The blood pressure scare should have been enough to tell you to "STOP".  You can't make everyone happy at the risk of making your self sick.  Quit, trying to be everything to everybody.  You are enough, you already do enough.  Don't add more to your plate.  You can't do everything.  Superwoman is a myth.  You are more important.

Breathe, relax, enjoy so you will have lots of tomorrows.

Love you,

Me

Grandma

My grandmother, Ann, was an amazing person.  She was kind, strong, resourceful, friendly, loving, a wonderful cook and a letter writer.  Remember, when people use to write letters to communicate?  She would always find the time to write me a letter.  If she sent a birthday card, there was a letter inside with a crisp $5.00 bill.  The brand new kind, that she had to order special from the bank.  She kept them wrapped in foil in the freezer - behind the ice cream. 

Grandma passed away 6 months after her 97th birthday.  Her last Christmas on Earth, she had me address 60 Christmas cards for her.  Let me say that number, again, 60 or sixty cards.  She wrote a little note in each one.  Her health was starting to fail, a little, but her mind was still sharp.  She was ready to go to Heaven.  But, she still took the time to write 60 Christmas cards.  She complained about how squiggly her handwriting was, but we didn't care - it was from her and she took the time to write it.  She said that she use to send out over 100 cards every year, but a lot of her friends had passed on - from the Pony Club or from Douglas (her old work).  I still have some of those letters packed away, I wish I could find them.

So where am I going with this.  I have decided to turn this blog into letters to my boys and grand kids.  Something that they can have "for always" because I am not a letter writer.  I have always, wanted to be - but could never find the time.  I guess, my passion was creating things like quilts and stuff.  Grandma always wanted to find the time to quilt, but couldn't find the time - she wrote letters instead.  So maybe, this way I can do both.

First Picture

Nikki had her 11 week appointment yesterday.  I was really nervous about the twins.  I still can't believe that my son and daughter in law are having twins.  I was patiently waiting to hear that they were OK, then I get this picture on my phone.  I started crying (which I seem to be doing a lot of these days).  They are adorable.  The doctor said that they are doing great.  I am, probably, the only grandma that walked around with her phone showing everyone at work their grand babies.  At 11 weeks, my grand babies look like babies - this is a miracle, on so many levels.

I would like to introduce you to Twin A and Twin B.  Now, we can't wait to find out what they are because they are identical.  I guess we have to wait until beginning of November and just ONE needs to cooperate. We are pretty sure that they are boys, which would mean 3 boys in one year for me.  They have boys' names picked out, the room theme and I have the shower theme picked out.  But, this grandma has a back-up plan if they are girls.  It is a Win-Win for me.



My partner teacher, Trang, got these adorable onesies for the twins.  If they are boys they can wear them with jeans and back up plan for girls would be I am making some tutus.  See I told you it was a Win-Win for me.

Update

I, finally got my laptop back so I am able to post again - woo hoo.  There has been so much going on here, so I will update with pictures soon.  Last weekend, we had the baby shower for the grandson that is due in two weeks.  It is wonderful, so many of my son's friends came along with our family.  My living room is full of clothes and diapers.   There must be 20+ boxes of diapers.  We have such great supportive friends. 

Nikki is going to her 12 week appointment today.  She is so excited to see how the twins are doing.  I can't wait to see the updated picture.  I will post pictures soon of the beach photo shoot of the girls and the maternity shoot I did of Jayme and Suzi.  Too many things to do, haha.

Twins

Yup, I am going to be a grandma to twins. I am super excited -the bouncing up and down excited. K and N were pregnant in April and I thought they were going to have twins. Sadly, they lost the baby - it never developed. I was heart broken. They are amazing parents.

Two weeks ago they found out they were pregnant. Yesterday, they went to the doctor. I had 4 miss calls at work and I was worried. Scared worried. I called them at lunch and they said "mom, remember the dream you had". I screamed twins. I felt sorry for the teachers in the car with me because I was loud. One sack and two strong heartbeats.

I can't wait to find out what my grandbabes are. I have so many things to make for them. Last night, another dream about shopping for boy things. They are convinced they are boys - Bowie King and Remie Knight. I told them they needed to figure out some girls' names too. Their daughter Miss S is so excited - bouncing up and down excited. She must get that from me, lol

Paradise 7, 8, and 9

We have been busy these last few days. Every night I have been working on school work and during the day I have been making goodies for my classroom Day 7 - we went down to coconut island to eat lunch. We grabbed a chicken salad sandwich from the mini mart and sat in the car eating lunch, watching the people. After, we went to coconut island to look for shells for the aloha sign that I am making for my classroom. Hubby is such a trooper helping me look for shells. A mini rain passed through and I sat in my chair with the umbrella while hubby stood under the coconut tree for protection, so cute. I saw some canoe paddlers practicing for the race this weekend. I admire the paddlers and the strength and commitment they have to their sport. We stayed for a couple of hours, so relaxing. Day 8 - we ran a bunch of errands. The scrapbook store, craft store, home depot and Wal-mart. I wanted to get more postcards for my class and needed some goodies for my frames that I made. Day 9 - feather lei class. I started a baby lei this morning with auntie's blessing for Keahi (my soon to be grandson) Auntie said that I should do it in the 'ilima color(golden yellow) which represents the Big Island and royalty, they were hard feathers to get. She, also, told me to use red. So we measured out the lei for baby size and then planed where the colors would go. I am so excited to make this lei for him. I will take his picture wearing it, then put it in a frame. Auntie said that I was the first in the group to make a keiki lei. We went to cliff and sandy's house for dinner. Their house is amazing. Hula dancer pictures and figurines thought the house. Hawaiian pillows on the bed. I loved the painted pillows that cliff's sister had made. I need to remember to take a picture next time. I took a lot of pictures of the backyard. So many times of flowers and plants. We have had ba busy few days. There is suppose to be a storm coming in today because of the hurricanes. Right now, it is sunny and beautiful.

Paradise Day 6

It was another great day. It was raining in the morning, so we decided to run some errands. Ben Franklin craft store, Wal-mart and home depot. I found some wood frames (on sale) for my classroom. I got them painted and need to add the scrapbook paper to them

As soon as we got our errands done the sun came out and I told hubby we should go golfing. It was beautiful. I sat in the cart - reading. Usually, there is some entertainment involved in him playing. But, dang it - the guy has gotten better. I, only, laughed once

We spent the late part of the afternoon - sitting on the patio, listening to music while I got crafty. So relaxing

I woke up to the sound of rain this morning, so not sure what we are going to do today. I am sure I can find something to do.

Paradise Day 5

Yesterday, was an amazing day - full of surprises and joy. It started with a Starbucks run, before built club. They messed up my order, so I received an extra tea (yes, it is the little things in life). I was super excited that they released a new Hawaii gift card, so I got 11 of them. It is so pretty. I have all of the Hawaii ones. I probably need to frame them for my classroom to go next to my teacher/Starbucks sign

At quilt club, I found the perfect quilt pattern for my new grandson, Keahi. His name means "breath of fire". The pattern is called "Kilauea Iki," the problem was that it was a queen size pattern. So I was able to make it smaller (with some help) and draw another motif for it. Super proud of myself. I got it cut out just need to find a big enough table to lay it out and baste the pattern.

I stopped at the quilt store and hung out with the girls for a bit (couple of hours). So much fun, lots of laughing. They are such a great bunch of people

We went to our friend Richard's house for dinner with the gang. There is always a ton of food to eat. They made the best salmon cakes, I think I ate 7 of them. Richard made my favorite dessert, creme brûlée. It is so yummy. It is so relaxing to sit on his patio with friends - talking and eating while listening to the rain. They are a great bunch of people. I love Hawaii.

Paradise Day 4

It was raining most of the morning, but it didn't stop us from going shopping. First, we had one of my favorite breakfasts - a snow crab omelette with hollandise sauce. It is so good. We went to the craft store, scrapbook store, quilt store, Wal-mart, Hilo Hattie's and a new shave ice place. I love shave ice and this place was so good.

Hubby made BBQ guava chicken. He is becoming a really good cook. Then he let me make s'mores again. It is fun to sit on the patio in Hawaii, while it rains, cooking on a hibachi. It just seems right

Paradise Day 3

I went to the local craft store yesterday to find some local inspiration, but couldn't find anything that jumped out at me. That, doesn't happen very often. So, then I went to my favorite quilt store and did some damage there. I got material for two quilts - a baby Hawaiian and one for me. I hope to start the baby quilt this weekend, when I go to quilt club - need to find the perfect pattern. The other one has beautiful hawaiian material in the center of each block.I was lucky enough to have a Hawaiian lomi-lomi massage yesterday. My back has been a mess for the last month. It was great, my back doesn't hurt at all this morning. Shoulders are sore, but she had to press pretty hard to get the knots out. I will probably have it done again before I leave.We might be going to my favorite restaurant for breakfast - crab omelette, yum. It rained again, most of the night. The breeze is cool this morning. The sun is trying to peek out and if it does I will go to the beach and take pictures. Well, I am off to take a shower. Did I tell you that mom's shower is outside?

4th of July

We spent a quiet day here. We did a little shopping in the morning and ran into a old friend. I took a nap and worked on my silversword quilt on the patio. Hubby BBQ teri beef, then he cranked the fire up - so I could make s'mores. My mother in law said that she had never tasted one before.

We watched the fireworks from coconut island, but it was a little hard to see with the low clouds and rain. We did play with sparklers, so much fun.

The Beginning

My grandmother lived to be 97 years old.  She was an amazing woman, old stock.  I adored her.  She, always, saw the good in people.  When she was very sick in bed, she made me make a promise to never leave my husband - she wasn't going to give up.  At that time, life was rough.  She told me that he reminded her of my grandfather.  How could I give up on our marriage, when he was like the man that I respected.  She kept saying, "Promise me, you will never leave him"  So to give her peace, I promised her.  My grandmother had every reason to dislike my husband.  My husband is Japanese born in Hawaii.  My grandmother's younger brother was killed during the war.  My grandma was never prejudiced against my husband.  My grandparents loved him as one of their own grandchildren.  I was a lucky girl.

I am so glad that I made that promise, but because life with my husband has been worth it.  We have had ups and downs, joys, pain, loss, raised 4 boys together (he has been a step-dad to 3 of them), grand kids (highly recommend having them first), taking care of grandparents and now, parents.  One promise is all we need.