All images and content copyright Terri Paulson-Sasaki

Monday, October 29, 2012

Part II

Dear Kiwi,

I came to see you everyday when you were in the hospital.  It was really hard leaving you.  Two days after you were born, you developed jaundice - your daddy had it when he was born.  Your mom and dad were so scared.  I ran to the hospital to be with them, while the nurses put you in the incubator under the UV lights.  You were not a happy boy.  It took them a while to calm you down enough to put you in there.  I don't think your Mom and Dad slept at all that night.  Luckily, my morning your blood counts were better - so they let you come home.  You came home on Saturday, late afternoon.  Everyone was happy to be home.  Your mom and dad really needed to sleep in their own beds.  I got to hold you for a hour, while they were eating dinner and settling in.

Around 1 in the morning, you woke up screaming.  You had a gas bubble, that took awhile to get rid of.   You are eating every 3 hours or so.  You are so cute.  You love being held close, kinda of on your side and gently rocked.  Last night, Daddy slept on the floor next to the bed so he would be able to help your mommy.  They gave you a sponge bath - dad said that you enjoyed it.

Today is Day #5, mom and dad took you to medical appointments.  It took awhile for them to get ready to go.  They dressed you in a brown football sleeper with the brown hat that I knitted you.  I wanted to take a picture, but they were running late.  Hopefully, I will be able to take one when they get home.

I love holding you, kissing the top of your head.  You are wonderful.


Saturday, October 27, 2012

Part I

Dear Kiwi,

You are here and you are adorable.  You were born on Wednesday, October 24, 2012 at 6:35 AM - 9lbs. 2oz. and 19 1/2 inches long.  Your head was 13 1/2 inches with your chest measuring 14 1/2 inches.  Oh my gosh, you are a big boy.  You don't look like your typical newborn baby.  I knitted you a couple of beanies and I am not sure how long you are going to be able to wear them.  You are amazing.  I was with your mommy and daddy - the whole time.  Mom had a rough time, so they did a C-section.  Your daddy was so in love with you.  Mom started crying as soon as you were born - Dad started to cry but held it together because they were giving him all sorts of information and he said that he needed to focus.

The nurse stopped in the hallway so I could see you before they took you to the recovery room.  Your dad came flying down the hall and told me to "Hurry".  I was worried that something happened, but your dad was smiling.  I came through the waiting room door and there you were - my beautiful grandson.  I said, "He has Japanese eyes, one eyelid".  (Which is pretty important, it was the same thing your Papa said when your daddy was born).  Then I started crying, I couldn't stop.  The nurse laughed and said, "I didn't expect that reaction."  I looked at you again and said, "Oh my gosh, he is huge."  The nurse said, "Yup, that is what I thought you would say."  You are such a big. boy.

Your Papa flew in from Hawaii, the day after you were born.  When he saw you in the hospital, he felt like he had seen you before.  He said it was very strange.  When we got home, he was sitting on our bed then he looked at his nightstand.  There was a picture of your daddy in frame, it had been there for 23 years.  He looked at the picture and saw you - but it was a picture of your dad.  The two of you look so much alike.
This is a picture of your daddy.

My two beautiful boys - but you have more hair.   I love you my beautiful grandson.


Sunday, October 21, 2012

Almost time

Dear Jayme,

In the next few days you will become a dad.  I know in my heart, that you are going to be an amazing dad to Kiwi.  I  loved seeing how excited you get, the plans you have made for him. You have planned out so much for your new little one.  It was so cute yesterday when we went shopping and you were picking out different things for him - the cute little Angel baseball dish set.  I know you are really excited for him to be here and to hold him for the first time.

It is still hard for me to think of my baby - having a little one of his own.  You have done so many things in your life and I am very proud of you.  I wish I had taken more pictures when you boys were little - but know I can make up by taking tons of pictures of my grand babies.  Thank you for sharing this moment with me.  I wish Dad could be here at his birth - but he will be flying in a few days later.

Kiwi will love you the first time you hold him. Remember, you will make daddy mistakes - but if you have his best interest in mind, it will work out.  Being a parent isn't easy.  Just hug him, tell him everyday that you love him and give him lots of kisses because dads can give hugs and kisses too.

I love you,


Tuesday, October 16, 2012

Come out and play

Dear Kiwi,

Yesterday, was your due date - which means that you were suppose to be born.  But, you didn't come.  I have parent/teacher conferences starting on Friday - so I would really appreciate if you came in the next three days or wait until this weekend.  I want to be there for your birth (and I will), but it would be easier if I didn't have to call a bunch of parents to reschedule their appointments.  Sometimes, they don't understand.  You are already very important to me - so please hurry and come out and play with me.  Your mommy's belly is getting really big so I think you need to leave her and meet the world around you.  It can be a really nice place to be.

I will protect you (just like Mommy has the last 9 months) and make sure that you are safe.  I will buy you cute clothes and make you lots of knitted stuff to keep you warm.  Papa and Daddy will teach you to play golf.  Papa is getting pretty good at it.  He plays almost every day in Hawaii.  He will be here next week to meet you - he is taking care of his mom.  Your cousins call him Papa Surfer Joe.  He is a really nice guy and a total push over for his grand kids.  He likes to build cars - so tell him what you would like.  You can pick anyone of the cars in the back.  I think you Dad wants you to have the El Camino.

So, will you please come out and play???


Monday, October 15, 2012


Dear A and B,

I am calling you A and B, because that is what the Doctor and Nurses call - my little miracle babes.  I am so excited to meet you.  The Doctor says that mommy is doing great.  The last doctor visit - your heartbeats were strong.  Your mommy and daddy were so happy.  Mommy goes to the doctor again, on Halloween - hopefully one of you will cooperate so we can find out if you are boys or girls.  I am pretty sure I know what you both are.  I knew you were twins even before mommy had you both in her tummy.  That way I can get busy making you goodies.  We need to get your room ready and I want to knit you some beanies and sweaters.  But, it will take twice as long.  Mommy sent me this picture of this shirt.  I had to order it for her.  It should be here any day.  I will take a picture of her wearing it, so you can see how cute mommy looks wearing it.

I love you both so much, already.  I can't wait to meet you, but for now stay warm and cozy inside mommy.  She loves you a bunch, too.


Sunday, October 14, 2012

Mr K

Dear Kiwi,

I heard your heartbeat the other day.  I got to go to the doctor and I heard it.  You were not moving very much, then you started doing back flips inside your mommy - or that is what I imagined you were doing.  Then they did an ultrasound.  They showed me your bum, then I saw your hand and you were waving.  I started crying with joy.  There was my beautiful grandson's hand waving at grandma.  It was the sweetest thing.  The tech showed me your face, but you started moving so she couldn't get a clear picture of it.  But it was you.

Your hand during the wave.  You are getting so cramped in there.  Tomorrow, is your due date - I need you to come out so I can spoil you rotten, just like we did your daddy.

I have made you two little beanies.  This one is brown so you can wear it with your football onesie and a gray one to wear with your elephant onesie.  I wonder which one you will like the best.

Love you,

Sunday, October 7, 2012


Dear Self,

You need  to rest, to take care of you.  The blood pressure scare should have been enough to tell you to "STOP".  You can't make everyone happy at the risk of making your self sick.  Quit, trying to be everything to everybody.  You are enough, you already do enough.  Don't add more to your plate.  You can't do everything.  Superwoman is a myth.  You are more important.

Breathe, relax, enjoy so you will have lots of tomorrows.

Love you,

Friday, October 5, 2012


My grandmother, Ann, was an amazing person.  She was kind, strong, resourceful, friendly, loving, a wonderful cook and a letter writer.  Remember, when people use to write letters to communicate?  She would always find the time to write me a letter.  If she sent a birthday card, there was a letter inside with a crisp $5.00 bill.  The brand new kind, that she had to order special from the bank.  She kept them wrapped in foil in the freezer - behind the ice cream. 

Grandma passed away 6 months after her 97th birthday.  Her last Christmas on Earth, she had me address 60 Christmas cards for her.  Let me say that number, again, 60 or sixty cards.  She wrote a little note in each one.  Her health was starting to fail, a little, but her mind was still sharp.  She was ready to go to Heaven.  But, she still took the time to write 60 Christmas cards.  She complained about how squiggly her handwriting was, but we didn't care - it was from her and she took the time to write it.  She said that she use to send out over 100 cards every year, but a lot of her friends had passed on - from the Pony Club or from Douglas (her old work).  I still have some of those letters packed away, I wish I could find them.

So where am I going with this.  I have decided to turn this blog into letters to my boys and grand kids.  Something that they can have "for always" because I am not a letter writer.  I have always, wanted to be - but could never find the time.  I guess, my passion was creating things like quilts and stuff.  Grandma always wanted to find the time to quilt, but couldn't find the time - she wrote letters instead.  So maybe, this way I can do both.

Thursday, October 4, 2012

First Picture

Nikki had her 11 week appointment yesterday.  I was really nervous about the twins.  I still can't believe that my son and daughter in law are having twins.  I was patiently waiting to hear that they were OK, then I get this picture on my phone.  I started crying (which I seem to be doing a lot of these days).  They are adorable.  The doctor said that they are doing great.  I am, probably, the only grandma that walked around with her phone showing everyone at work their grand babies.  At 11 weeks, my grand babies look like babies - this is a miracle, on so many levels.

I would like to introduce you to Twin A and Twin B.  Now, we can't wait to find out what they are because they are identical.  I guess we have to wait until beginning of November and just ONE needs to cooperate. We are pretty sure that they are boys, which would mean 3 boys in one year for me.  They have boys' names picked out, the room theme and I have the shower theme picked out.  But, this grandma has a back-up plan if they are girls.  It is a Win-Win for me.

My partner teacher, Trang, got these adorable onesies for the twins.  If they are boys they can wear them with jeans and back up plan for girls would be I am making some tutus.  See I told you it was a Win-Win for me.

Wednesday, October 3, 2012


I, finally got my laptop back so I am able to post again - woo hoo.  There has been so much going on here, so I will update with pictures soon.  Last weekend, we had the baby shower for the grandson that is due in two weeks.  It is wonderful, so many of my son's friends came along with our family.  My living room is full of clothes and diapers.   There must be 20+ boxes of diapers.  We have such great supportive friends. 

Nikki is going to her 12 week appointment today.  She is so excited to see how the twins are doing.  I can't wait to see the updated picture.  I will post pictures soon of the beach photo shoot of the girls and the maternity shoot I did of Jayme and Suzi.  Too many things to do, haha.